Those who play it – and by ‘play it’ we mean professionals rather than hung-over blokes turning up for a Sunday morning kick-around – are probably some of the most dateable people on the planet. Imagine a good salary and multiply it by the biggest number you can think of. For example, Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo pockets a cool million in wages and endorsements. They travel around the world and sometimes you can go with them. Many players give money to, and do work on behalf of, charities. Footballers are used to having team-mates from all around the world – English players are on the pitch for less than a third of all the games played in the Premier League. Footballers know how to party and have access to all the best restaurants and nightclubs. There’ll be plenty of photos to remember your date by. They’ll happily pass you things and give you a drink at half-time. Of this, they’ll be sprinting for around three quarters of a mile. Fashion houses fall over themselves to provide players with branded clobber. Anything that hinders an impromptu game is too long.[…]
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